Mammy Spoil Chile?

So I was having a discussion with a friend of mine about spoiling your children. I was of the opinion that if I made millions of dollars I would not just hand over cars, trips and money to my kids without reason. I would want to them to work for some of it and even more I would require them to appreciate where I got it from. Not saying that I wouldn’t sponsor them trips to Europe or buy a second hand car for them. But I am not buying a new BMW when you get your license and I am not putting you up in the best hotel when you get to Europe. And best believe I am not doing any of this if you are a ‘gimme gimme’ child. If I send you to Europe and when you come back you talking about having to go to Japan next month totally at my expense, we will fall out. Now my reasoning behind this is that I work and will continue to work really hard for what I earn today and in the future. I have gone months without luxuries in the past and doh talk bout when I was a broke student, somehow surviving with 5USD in my bank account for a couple months, thank God for free room and board. The thing is, I learnt a lot going through those things. I learnt how to appreciate and budget when I do have, I learnt how to treat myself for my own hard work and I also learnt that nothing comes easy. But maybe it comes easy for some of us and I shouldn’t punish my child if I can make it easy for him? And should I turn up my nose at people who choose to make life too easy for their kids?

At the same time, while I walk around with these notions of ‘hard work my child’ I think when put into the situation we react differently. While I am not any millionaire and remain about $999,999.99 short of being one, my child wants for nothing as long as we can afford it. Even his father who day after day walked home from Fatima to save his traveling money indulges him. One time he begged for a toy train, got it and less than a week later Mr. train decide he wasn’t going to work like he was supposed to. The train couldn’t be returned probably because a wheel was already broken or something so his father bought him another train because he knew he loved it so much and didn’t have the heart to not let him play with that train until he got tired of it. Granted the train cost about $30 and he’s only 3 and doesn’t want for much more than the pretty pack of corn curls in the grocery I am sure when he gets older and wants for more, we will continue to give him because who we working for if not for him?

**Before people get the wrong idea, this was a one time thing, he doesn't have double all his toys and 'No' is a familiar word around these parts. When I say he wants for nothing, I mean he will have all the diapers he needs, he will have the best car seat and the best stroller and the best of all the necessities. He's not walking around in Toddler brands unless I find something on sale somewhere but he looks nice when he's dressed up. He doesn't control the shopping or anything but he will get chocolate pudding in the grocery if he asks for it and if he is not the pudding monster about it. Right so moving on...

But then how will he learn the lessons I learnt from being broke? How will he learn that sometimes you have to suck it up and work as a cashier, a bartender or a waitress to make your own money? Working the cash register at Daddy’s store somehow won’t have the same effect will it? My nephew walks around talking about being bored constantly. He only happens to be bored when he’s not allowed to touch the TV, his Nintendo DS, his DS lite or his gameboy. He’s bored when he has to practice his piano until he gets it right. I have been threatening him lately to show him what it is to really be bored. I want to send him outside to go and pick leaves or watch the sky for two hours by himself. THAT is bored. Bored is me reading A House for Mr. Biswas when I was 10 years old. Why? Because it was there and I didn’t have anything else to do, regardless of if I understood 75% of the words.

I’m rambling now but I guess I know that at the end of the day you have to strike a balance. I can’t not spoil my child, because he’s mine and I am working this hard for myself and for him to enjoy the things I might not have been able to enjoy. But at the same time everything will be within reason. I won’t have him wanting things just because he thinks he deserves it. When he can earn it, he will deserve it. I think my friend put it best when she said ‘They can’t have everything they want but they will have when they don’t even want.’

Thoughts?

No what?

Excuse me this fine morning while I go collect my finest rustiest barrels and longest pieces of plywood and old buss up tires because I have a major road to go and block with my debris. Steupppssssssss

Now yesterday we realize the pipes and dem coughing we say 'Excuse me Mr pipe? Whats the problem'. Pipe say 'No water ma'am'. Check de tank, no water!!! Tank dry. Why you ask because we live nice yesterday morning, we had bubble baths, we washed loads and loads of clothes all using the tank water because we didn't know that WASA was about to cut de damn water and never bring it back....EVER.

I not sure if I mad at WASA or if I am more mad with my family who just chilling, 'It will come back' they say 'Well surely everyone else have no water' they say. And I say 'When will it come back and because everybody else have no water this makes it better!'. 'So go by Aunty around the corner and bathe'...I say 'No'. Why must I cart my towel by somebody else house to bathe?

Now I get it, now I get why those ppl who go without water for weeks at a time block the roads. Now I understand the anger and the frustration because I have been without water for less then 24 hours and I am steaming, I past steaming. I am calling alllllll the numbers WASA leave on the bill because I need water and I need it now. And all who say I being uppity because I have no water for a few hours can all kiss my dirty a$$. I hate being unable to wash my hands or sitting by the outside pipe for an hour to get a third of a bucket of water with which to wash my hands. Look I seeing ah old bed post there, I think I will use that to help block de road too...I gone...

***Update: I hear dat man go outside and suddenly I hearing gushing water. How bout some random somebody decide to come in the yard (I guess yesterday) and turn off our water that comes in from the main line. I guess ha ha jokes on us, see how long it will take us to figure it out. This is after I done rough up the WASA girl on the phone eh. Now I have to call her back. But I think i still going to block up de road for all those ppl who don't have water today and haven't had any for 2 weeks.

Dictionary

Parrot/ Pirate/ Pie-rot - a bird, a man with a sword
1. Mummy I am a parrot, I have to find a treasizzle

CorePee - Picker Upper
1.Mummy is this Corepee?? when I give him chocolate Lasco

Bite - what the sun does when its very hot
1. Mummy the sun too bright and hot, it biting me

Sigot - a lapse in memory
1. Uh Oh I sigot to brush my teeth Mummy

Weighty - Traditional East Indian food
1. For Divali we went to our friend's house and had delicious weighty

keem/cream - That which cures all, might as well be the cure for world peace
1. Your head hurting Mummy? I'll get you some keem!
2. I have a cut on my foot mummy, I need keem...

Norby - juice made from the bark of a tree also known as Mauby

Cute - A letter of the alphabet, also known as the letter Q

Napkin - what one does when one is tired, also known as a nap

Yummy

I know one day he will grow up, he will start smelling like Fatima grounds football field and like a sweaty teenager. He will start to want to impress girls and smell like all the colognes in the world. Then he will learn that lesson and have that signature cologne of his. He will start smelling like a man, someone's husband (blech).

But today he smells like mine, he smells like dirt and old chocolate pudding left on his face. He smells like sweet milky milo and aquafresh kids toothpaste. He smells like a 3yr old who spends most of his time liming on the ground or jumping off the chairs, grimy. He smells like powder and soap when he's just finished bathing (this smell only lasts about 20 minutes) ever. He smells like peanut butter and jelly and crix and cheese...Yummy, i love smelling him. He thinks i'm crazy because he just realized what I always do, so now he wants to smell me back. I don't smell like any of these things. I hope I smell like 'Mummy' though however that is.

Sharing is Caring...or fighting

Why all my headings is always the opposite of what the ting supposed to be. No means yes, sharing means not sharing. So we had a sharing issue yesterday. En is using the music player, JD wants it Naowwww. Then he start to bawl and run and act de bottom because I say he will get it after. So he get send in his room. Yeah ok...he not staying there. So my new thing to do with him is to show him that 'Hey mummy not going to get frustrated, nor am I going to shout, nor am I going to ask you over and over to do the same thing. You will stay where I tell you and if you try to move I will hold you and by the way , you not stronger than me, so you can fight and I will whistle a happy tune out loud, then you will get tired but by then I might be so internally irritated you might just go straight to your bed so go ahead. This has worked the last few times. He calms down because he wants to go play, we have a chat then he goes quietly and sits wherever I tell him. Not yesterday. Ohhhh nooooo...a good 45 minutes I holding this child. And when I say hold I don't mean in any rock-a-bye baby hold eh. Is more a trap, between meh legs, with his arms by his side. Anyhow so that he can't get away. Because clearly I have nothing to do. Then to get me more vex I realize but wait, he standing in one spot, I holding him there, he bawling WHILE he watching America's Next Top Model. I could barely hear Tyra Banks but he well watching the show and making sure to keep up the noise and the struggle. Buhwhade...steups.

He finish that cry in his bed, and fall asleep sitting down because it would have been against his principles to actually lie down like i said and sleep. So he sit down and sleep instead. 3 yrs old. Imagine if he was a girl what I would have to deal with when she becomes an obstinate teenager. Thank God for small mercies?

Karma

I don't know how many people have seen Family Guy but I swear my son must have seen it sometime and is slowly plotting to take over the world...or the house or...Man I just know he has some inner dialogue going on in his head and its in a perfect English accent too, well sometimes its perfect Trini dialect but I just know! I know that when I ask him what he's doing and he says 'Nothing mummy' what he's really saying is 'Lady gimme a chance nah man'. When he asks ppl 'Whatchoo doinnn?' in that singsong voice, what he's really saying is ' Listen up, log your actions, put it in a document, I will be collecting said document at noon, I need to learn the procedure for boiling an egg, its part of my Master Plan'.

And I know that damn day in the grocery when he made me cry, it was a test! He plan dat, he say the next time this lady take me in dat grocery she will get it! He say is every week she taking me to dat place and is only snacks all over and I leaving empty handed. He say NAH MAN...dat done today! We gone in Tru Valu normal normal, he ask for one ting I say you can have that when we get home. FAIL part one of the test. And this is in the days when he wasn't really understanding no and patience and waiting and the idea that something will still exist after you can't see it anymore. He ask for something else, I say no. Flat no. In his head he say 'But she maaaad?!' I think musse 6 requests down the line he start to real screw. And mind you I don't spend any setta time in the grocery either eh, I in and out. So this is about 15 minutes into the trip, this is in the evening after work too eh so all I really want to do is get home. I say ok ok he getting antsy let me get up outta here! We reach by the cashier, I say 'Ahhhh nice man, home free, ching ching, we will cash in 5 minutes, in the car, straight home, he could get what he want lesson learned'. Yeah right! He say *in his head of course* 'One more, she getting one more chance.one.more.chance'...Mummy can I have this sausage? He ain't ask for some snack yuh know. he ask for a can ah sausage! How i supposed to say yes to that man? Steups.
Me: No.
Him: bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

My boy throw himself on the ground, he start to roll, he pelt himself so, he fling way so. And all I studying is that I must cash my groceries because we have no bread home. Shame. Shame. You know those children you see in the grocery and you want to tap dem in their head? That was my child...I was mortified. This is not happening to me. You always think that will not happen to you, you notice the people who don't have children because they thinking oh they coulda handle that child. The cashiers watching me like 'uhhm hmmm, no behavior, why she doh handle dat'. The old lady who compliment me 5 minutes before on how well behaved my son was like she in shock. She talking to him trying to calm him down, he liking dat...he bawling more. All this time he tinking 'And ah ask yuh for de corn curls? And ah ask yuh for de orchard? And yuh say no ent? ENT!?' I rest two tap on him to show de cashiers I am not one of those mummys who scared of my child. Steups, he shoulda just tap me back because that is how I was feeling. I say ok, either i ignore him, cash my groceries and never come back to this grocery again, leave him here and pretend I never saw him and don't know him and maybe come back for him later when he learn to appreciate me, take him outside and try to have a chat with him *chat = tap*, forget the groceries, forget the chat and just leave. I chose to go outside and have the chat. Nothing. More madness, by this time I on the verge of tears but I need the groceries today. Best believe I drag him back in there, pay for the groceries with all the stares and he still fighting up. I have no idea how I did it, I think I was holding him over my shoulder or something like a sack of flour while trying to balance my purse and the bags and his squirming and bawling. We made it to the car, that was a task in itself too because he fighting, both of us sweating, by this time I full out crying I am so ashamed. Some lady make out the scene in the car park and talking about poor ting (refering to him) I almost run my car over her with that one. As much as I love dat child I wanted nothing to do with him at that point. I couldn't even watch him. Call his Daddy one time, offload him by Daddy meeting.

You believe that child come home, his father said he had something to tell me and when he watch me I swear he roll his eyes and said *in his head* 'Never mind, I have nothing to say to her!' He re.fuse. to talk to me. He stand in the corner for a good while. He say he know he behave bad but he not going to tell Mummy sorry. Yuh know what is the worse part?I see me written all over that child that day. I remember one time my father tried to get me to tell my step mother sorry and I tell him no. Days I take the punishment until they just accepted that they were not getting a sorry. They say yuh does pay for your bad behavior ent?

BTW that was the first and last time that happened. I didn't take him to the grocery with me for a good 2/3 months and he liked the grocery. Now he is the best behaved little man in the grocery, he understands no, he will walk around with his snack the whole time in his hand and hand it to the cashier himself. To this day I not too sure how his plans for world domination going and I pretty much think I failed the grocery test.

Taking the bull by the horns

Nice chile cousin asked his mother this week if she knew what b*ll*ng meant :O
Trinis should be able to figure that one out, foreigners, choose some vowels...fend fuh yuhself.

But my word!! I guess we all were exposed to dirty things in primary school right? But to hear that out your 8yr old mouth. She wanted to d.i.e. And he doesn't attend any old primary school either eh. So if that is what the little boys in that school talking about, imagine what they talking about in the other schools. Lordhaveismercy!

Robin Hood...stealing from the...poor?

One day a month or so ago i had to teach my child that he shouldn't steal from the poor. I minding my own business sleeping. I see a little face in my face right up under the bed. 'Mummy you sleeping or you wake up?'.

Me: sleeping.
Him:Ok!
Him:Mummy you have monies in your purse? *my purse is sitting right there on the bed as well*
Me: Yeah *sleep sleep*
Him: Can i see eht? *because he has to see everything and everything is an it*
Me: yeah yeah yeahhhhh
Him: ok! *Pause* Can I have eht? Can i save eht?
Me: yeah yeah yeahhhhhh
Him:Ok!

Then there was silence. Why? Because he proceeded to make multiple trips from my purse to his piggy bank. Where he placed all MY money.
Technically he didn't steal it, because he asked right? And he did want to save it. Its not like he wanted to go buy that new pair of sneakers that came out. But really...that was stealing from the poor man!

Ya Regresa...

This post is dedicated to all the shows we watch on the tube. See I know as a mummy I'm supposed to love all these characters on TV, they're cute right? No.

So first off Spanish lessons start on channel 41. This Channel is probably known as Discovery Kids in all English speaking countries, in Trinidad its known as Deescobery Keeds (stress on the 'co'). Here we have shows like Barney y sus Amigos and Jim de La Luna. Mind you, the show itself is in English, all the ads for the shows are in espanol. We get 'Ya regresa, Barney y sus amigos!'. Of course nice chile know it in Spanish. Lets talk about these shows shall we:

Caillou pronounced Cahyou (animated)

I don't know why his parents gave him that name, it sounds like food. He has a big head and he's really whiny. The story books we have on Callilou are always something Callilou's afraid of...the dark, monsters etc. I have another word to use for whiny but since I'm trying to keep this blog readable by all we will use the nicer word. I'm not sure if I want a child like Callilou.











Jim De La Luna(puppets/animated??), I mean Jim of the Moon...actually i have no idea what is the english name for this show, it name Jim de la luna to me.
He is some man who lives in a space station on the moon with his friends and they have adventures.

Pinky Dinky Doo

Pinky climbs into a big box and makes up stories for her little brother. I like Pinky, she's pink. She also finds a 'big' word every day and creates a story around the word. So one day she made up a story on what 'unflappable' means. I like that. And the song is cute too...'Pinky's really good at making up stories and every story rocks!'

Barney (big purple puppet thing)
I refuse to watch this. Barney is annoying. *ok ok Iwatch it sometimes, barney paints and makes puppet animals out of brown paper bags, thats cool stuff I guess*

Lazy Town(real grown ppl with puppets)
One time I told JD that grampa went in 'town' he ask me if grampa went to 'Lazy town'. I wanted to say 'he may as well' but i said no Port of Spain.
Lazy town is about this little girl who moves to lazy town where all the children eat snacks all day and they're lazy. There is this evil man who tries to perpetuate the laziness then there is Sporticus, some kinda super hero guy who comes from outta space and always excercising. I think Sporticus is gay, which is fine and all. This show taught my child how to do one arm push ups and crunches. He's very good, better than I am...lol






Pokoyo (animated)
Pokoyo is a little boy who doesn't speak. He has a friend who's an elephant who doesn't speak either. The only person who speaks is the narrator who tells us everything Pokoyo is doing and asks the viewer questions.

The Backyardigans (animated)

This one is about 4/5 animals, a hippo a penguin and some others with names like Natasha and Ethan. So i'm guessing each animal is supposed to be a specific race. They live in houses like all regular animals do (?) and have families, the show is about when they go in the yard to play and the stories they make up. The theme song for this one is really catchy but can get annoying if you have a really bad headache.

I can't remember anything else from Discobery Keeds but I'll add them if i do.





The other thing we watch are videotapes...yes I know its 2007. I dug up some tapes and dusted off a vcr and pull out The Wiggles video.
It was meant to give him something to do while I worked. The first time it worked. The second time it worked even better, the third time he wanted me to dance and sing the 'sound'. Now I am looking for a place to hide the Wiggles video tape because I have to dance and sing every song. I have to dance to the pony 'sound' and the Captain FeatherSword 'sound'. I have to dance and make all the animal sounds. I no longer like the Wiggles. The wiggles also introduced some new behavior. So this past weekend he called me from his father's, however my son was not on the other line, there was a ducky there. And this ducky could only speak in duck. So the ducky said 'quack, hello, quack'. When i asked what you doing he said 'Quack, nothing, quack'. Then his father in an attempt to convince me that he had nothing to do with it went on to explain to me that he was forced to read a story in ducky. Clearly your 3yr old put a water gun to your head and forced you to read the story in ducky right? So we know who encourage that one right there. Apparently Snoop Dog appeared on the Wiggles one time as well because Jades told me he was a parrot (he meant to say pirate but they mean the same to him) and that he was going to look for a treasizzle, which was either a cross between a puzzle and a treasure OR he was hanging with Snoop D. O double Gizzle.

Mammy Nice Chile cousin

At times I will write about Mammy Nice Chile Cousin...Let's call Mammy Nice Chile 'JD' and his cousin 'En'.

See En is a character all his own. My boy En told his mother one time that maybe his pencil got legs and walked away. And he said this with a straight face. He went to school the next day with no pencil by the way. En has also come home with no shirt, one side of shoe and well, no homework is normal. Needless to say he went to school the days after as well with one side of shoe and one sock.

En calls his mother 'Mother' as in 'Yes Mother, I'm coming'. En is 8 years old.

JD and En are as close as brothers can be. They share a room, they share everything...great. Dey always fighting. There was a time when En used to cry when JD did him things, like hit him in his head with a cd case. Then JD realized , 'hey this crying thing gets me hugs. Methinks it is time for me to cry instead'. So now JD cries when he is slighted and En, oh En realized if he did JD things under low, he wins. He's older anyway so JD listens to everything he says. So they fight and fight and fight then there is silence, because why? They sitting somewhere hugging each other up watching tv.

Mammy Nice Chile

Since my friend Jumbie cannot be found to provide the correct meaning of Mammy Nice Chile, allow me to attempt to explain.

Mammy Nice Chile (pronounced Mahmee Nice Chyle) : The chile mummy love de most. The chile mummy gives everything to if they come with the mammy nice chile voice. The chile who gets the most love up and hug up and squeeze up. When you have only one, this one is automatically mammynicechile.

In my house this child is also known as Daddy Nice Chile, Granma Nice Chile, Granpa Nice Chile, Grandad Nice Chile, Aunty Nice Chile. You name it, when he come with the sweet voice...he is the nice chile.

NOT Mammy Nice Chile: Strangely enough, this is the same child! This is Mammy Nice Chile at his worst. This is when Mammy Nice Chile becomes 'Monkey know what tree to climb'. This is mammy nice child when he pelting himself on the floor and rolling, bawling. Mammy nice child when English means nothing and you think you have to attempt to learn Italian to make him understand and listen to what you saying. Mammy nice chile in the grocery with two ah allyuh crying.

My Child...mammynicechile and Notmammynicechile. This is my attempt to chronicle all that Dis Child says and does to me, himself and others. Sometimes its frustrating, most times its funny but at the end of the day he always remains mammynicechile. Check de picture...too sweet ent...let me tell you...