Karma

I don't know how many people have seen Family Guy but I swear my son must have seen it sometime and is slowly plotting to take over the world...or the house or...Man I just know he has some inner dialogue going on in his head and its in a perfect English accent too, well sometimes its perfect Trini dialect but I just know! I know that when I ask him what he's doing and he says 'Nothing mummy' what he's really saying is 'Lady gimme a chance nah man'. When he asks ppl 'Whatchoo doinnn?' in that singsong voice, what he's really saying is ' Listen up, log your actions, put it in a document, I will be collecting said document at noon, I need to learn the procedure for boiling an egg, its part of my Master Plan'.

And I know that damn day in the grocery when he made me cry, it was a test! He plan dat, he say the next time this lady take me in dat grocery she will get it! He say is every week she taking me to dat place and is only snacks all over and I leaving empty handed. He say NAH MAN...dat done today! We gone in Tru Valu normal normal, he ask for one ting I say you can have that when we get home. FAIL part one of the test. And this is in the days when he wasn't really understanding no and patience and waiting and the idea that something will still exist after you can't see it anymore. He ask for something else, I say no. Flat no. In his head he say 'But she maaaad?!' I think musse 6 requests down the line he start to real screw. And mind you I don't spend any setta time in the grocery either eh, I in and out. So this is about 15 minutes into the trip, this is in the evening after work too eh so all I really want to do is get home. I say ok ok he getting antsy let me get up outta here! We reach by the cashier, I say 'Ahhhh nice man, home free, ching ching, we will cash in 5 minutes, in the car, straight home, he could get what he want lesson learned'. Yeah right! He say *in his head of course* 'One more, she getting one more chance.one.more.chance'...Mummy can I have this sausage? He ain't ask for some snack yuh know. he ask for a can ah sausage! How i supposed to say yes to that man? Steups.
Me: No.
Him: bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

My boy throw himself on the ground, he start to roll, he pelt himself so, he fling way so. And all I studying is that I must cash my groceries because we have no bread home. Shame. Shame. You know those children you see in the grocery and you want to tap dem in their head? That was my child...I was mortified. This is not happening to me. You always think that will not happen to you, you notice the people who don't have children because they thinking oh they coulda handle that child. The cashiers watching me like 'uhhm hmmm, no behavior, why she doh handle dat'. The old lady who compliment me 5 minutes before on how well behaved my son was like she in shock. She talking to him trying to calm him down, he liking dat...he bawling more. All this time he tinking 'And ah ask yuh for de corn curls? And ah ask yuh for de orchard? And yuh say no ent? ENT!?' I rest two tap on him to show de cashiers I am not one of those mummys who scared of my child. Steups, he shoulda just tap me back because that is how I was feeling. I say ok, either i ignore him, cash my groceries and never come back to this grocery again, leave him here and pretend I never saw him and don't know him and maybe come back for him later when he learn to appreciate me, take him outside and try to have a chat with him *chat = tap*, forget the groceries, forget the chat and just leave. I chose to go outside and have the chat. Nothing. More madness, by this time I on the verge of tears but I need the groceries today. Best believe I drag him back in there, pay for the groceries with all the stares and he still fighting up. I have no idea how I did it, I think I was holding him over my shoulder or something like a sack of flour while trying to balance my purse and the bags and his squirming and bawling. We made it to the car, that was a task in itself too because he fighting, both of us sweating, by this time I full out crying I am so ashamed. Some lady make out the scene in the car park and talking about poor ting (refering to him) I almost run my car over her with that one. As much as I love dat child I wanted nothing to do with him at that point. I couldn't even watch him. Call his Daddy one time, offload him by Daddy meeting.

You believe that child come home, his father said he had something to tell me and when he watch me I swear he roll his eyes and said *in his head* 'Never mind, I have nothing to say to her!' He re.fuse. to talk to me. He stand in the corner for a good while. He say he know he behave bad but he not going to tell Mummy sorry. Yuh know what is the worse part?I see me written all over that child that day. I remember one time my father tried to get me to tell my step mother sorry and I tell him no. Days I take the punishment until they just accepted that they were not getting a sorry. They say yuh does pay for your bad behavior ent?

BTW that was the first and last time that happened. I didn't take him to the grocery with me for a good 2/3 months and he liked the grocery. Now he is the best behaved little man in the grocery, he understands no, he will walk around with his snack the whole time in his hand and hand it to the cashier himself. To this day I not too sure how his plans for world domination going and I pretty much think I failed the grocery test.