And follow this pattern:1. The soles of his feet will be made of swiffer wet jets and automatically replaced swiffer sheets, to avoid the excessive mopping that goes along with version 1.0, because frankly I hate mopping and swore to never do it and well that not really working out for me.
2. The fingernails shall not get dirty. Ever. To avoid the scrubbing that usually takes place with version 1.0
3. Version 2.0 will WANT to bathe and when they get in the shower and Mummy version1.0 says its time to get out v2 will agree to get out and stop being contrary.
4. Version 2.0 will eat. Everything, all the time and not be content with plain macaroni, plain rice, slices of bread, crix, bake, roti and Mauby.
5. When version 2.0 passes gas he will not announce 'SCOOSE ME!!!' to anyone who will listen. He will pass his gas, say excuse me quietly and move on with his life.
6. Version 2.0 will go to bed by 8pm and not wake up until the sun is awake in the sky because Mummy v1 would like to finally get some sleep after 3 years of being awakened every 2 hours thanks.
7. Version 2.0 will not follow mummy v1 into the shower and continue to ask questions like 'Can I watch you a little bit?' or 'Can I have some crix and cheese when you finish please?' or 'What you doin?' because showers are supposed to be relaxing dammit.
8. Version 2.0 will know when to remind his daddy to give him a hair cut so that his daddy doesn't forget and have him looking homeless once a month.
9. Version 2.0 will not want to use every bathroom in every mall/grocery/ cinema/ store in a 2 hour period on a hot Saturday morning.
10. Version 2.0 will not find the last piece of dirt on the earth, walk in it, then walk on his mummys newly vacuumed car seat.
*** Version 2.0 may also come with additional hugs and kisses because everyone loves more hugs and kisses ***
And just for giggles:
2 comments:
Funny post!!!d
Well at least he says "Scoose me" my 3yrold say "I PASS GAS" for everyone who would listen.
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