I give up!

One of these things is not like the other,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you guess which thing is not like the other?
Before I finish this song!

Click pic to Enlarge (Please!)

Ok you get 10 more seconds to think about it while I dig a hole and bury myself mkay?

Yes folks, lets take a guess which Let's Learn Science Mummy covered in brown paper, designed black and purple labels in Comic Sans font and stuck with Elmers glue on little JDs books.

And which Let's Learn Science Daddy covered in a MANILA ENVELOPE ( a wrinkled one to boot) drew 3 crooked lines in pen and sent the poor child to school with it. Guess...

Take a look at the inside of the book people...


*sigh* Men.

Its a good thing we bought two of the same book. One last guess...guess which book is now hidden under the bed?

The fall heard around the world

Steups, minding my damn business today waiting for a friend to finish a test. Decide to go check out a store in Royal Palm Plaza, except the store was on the other side of the parking lot. Small ting, let me stand on this foot high wall, hold my son's hand and hop down the very short frigging step. Nooooooo of course not, it couldn't be that simple. I couldn't just start the day right. NAH...BUDDDUP!! I miss step and you know that second where you think you not going to fall? That second where you tell yourself 'phew boy that could have been embarassing'. The second where you think 'what happened there boy?'. Well during that second I found my ass in the gravel of the parking lot. WTF! How-in-the-hell-could-I-fall.

So now I am trying to pick my ass up off the ground and I hear 'MUMMYYYYYYY!! You threw me down!' and lying next to me on the ground is my child, whose hand I was holding at the time. So not only did I embarass myself but my child too who is looking at me in this accusatory tone. Then he starts to howl. Then I start to feel bad, when I realize his mouth has a little bruise and well he's dirty as all hell because we were both just lying in the gravel and dewy dirt of the flecking parking lot. Wonderful.

As if I wasnt embarassed enough, as if the crying guilt trip didnt really cut it, after we are all cleaned up and chilling in the car I am hearing that little boy on the backseat looking through the back window talking to a truck that is perilously close to the short wall of death and he's saying 'Careful Mr. Truck, careful... you might fall.' Then I hear him mumble 'Like us' and I swear I saw him glare at me.

Look at what I found...

Somebody's kid who was 'Caught being Good' (thats what the sticker says) on his first day of Kindergarten, ended up knocked out on the back seat of my car. My child however was sprawled on the ground throwing a fit about 30 minutes after this. Somebody needs to come get their well behaved kid...


Those strangers 'Good' kid also got a stellar report after his first week of school. Follows all instructions, is so well behaved, no one has any problems with him. Jovial, friendly, sharp and only has to be told to do anything once. He is still being evaluated however because he may have to jump back a class since his letter recognition is non existent and his letter writing is...what is less than non existent? However Aunty is just up in the air with him this first week because she keeps saying he's so sharp that she doesn't want to send him back quite yet, until she's sure. So we'll see.

The first day was harder on Mummylicious and Daddylicious than on mammynicechile. He was (unnecessarily) up at 5:30am, overly excited at the prospect of school. After getting introduced to his Aunty he was like 'So...yeah...can I go play now?'. Because clearly kids playing with blocks is more fun than hugging your parental units. We were quite hurt. Stood outside the school chatting for absolutely no reason for a couple minutes. Daddylicious seemed quite torn that his baby was now a man, and even went to spy on him at lunch time but saw nothing (ok ok I was no help there, he said his heart wouldn't be able to take the trauma if he saw him all lonely in a corner but I convinced him to go anyway, yes we're hover-ers but it was the first day of school sheesh and its not like anyone saw him and we didn't plan to go again, why am I trying to defend this?). So now its onto the...rest of his life! Poor child. Little does he know, this is only the beginning of this school shizz. I wonder how long he'll continue to be excited by all this? I'm over it.

Leg and Thigh, some fries maybe...

I am brushing small mans hair one day and like a typical Mommy his face is smushed into my bosom. He takes his little index finger and pokes me and goes 'Mummy whats this?'. So I steups and say 'You KNOW what that is...what is it?' He says matter of factly 'A bwest.' So I say 'Exactly so why you asking me then? Steups.' Then he starts to chuckle so I ask him whats so funny smallest? He says:

*chuckle*
When you called K-Epp-See (KFC), you asked them for a BWEST!
*chuckle chuckle*
Why you ask K-Epp-See for a BWEST!?
*chuckle chuckle*

So by now I am dying of laughter because:
1. He is a maco and he is taking notes when I am on the phone
2. Poor child! Why is he trying to find a correlation between types of bwests at 3yrs old?

So I explain to him that chickens also have bwests, I mean breasts. While he thought this was hilarious I think he made a mental note to investigate the next chicken he saw to make sure he did indeed see nipples.

Maybe I need to order less k-ep-see. Hmmmm...

Slacker

I know. I am a slacker. See there are so many funny stories that by the time I remember to post one I missed so many that I try to remember the first set of funny then I get myself to here... Where I post nothing for a couple months. So here I am back with one loooonnnggg, not so funny but hopefully this will get me back in the groove.

Play to Learn

First off I never understood why most places (the US) spell the word ‘KindergarTen’! Whats a ‘garten’? Then I see places in Trinidad adopting the spelling and I get irritated. Please correct me if I am missing something and the word is really supposed to be kindergarten because for the life of me…

Nehow so the past couple weeks mummylicous and daddylicous have been stressing and giving themselves migraines over this whole play to learn/ kindergarden thing. Small man is currently at what is called a Play to Learn Day Care (PTLD). Probably every day someone asks me ‘So what school is he at? Is he at school yet?’ and when I say ‘Well it’s a play to learn day care where he’s supposed to stay until he begins Primary school’ they look at me like I am some sort of negligent mommy. Little do they know how sick we are with it, but are we sick enough, that’s the question?

So we started thinking the other day that while we have no evidence to prove that kids who can read/write/spell/sing/speak in Spanish and French are more advanced than any other kids, we also have no evidence that kids from play to learn day cares are at any advantage or disadvantage either. We just doh know. We can’t go to the PTLD and do a poll of the past 5 years and draw graphs comparing it to the other kindergardens that are rigid and find the percentage of kids from each that make it to ‘good’ primary schools and then ‘good’ secondary schools. To hear the teachers and owners of each of these places, they have the right equation, they know what they’re doing, you’re child is better off with them. Of course he is, you’re charging me $700 bucks a month.

The theory behind PTLD is that kids at such a young age should not be forced to do much academically, that through playtime, exploring their environment and social interaction they will learn all they need to know in order to thrive in Primary School. They believe that 3 and 4 year olds do not need to learn to write novels and read The Iliad before primary school. And that when they get to Primary School they will be just as quick as the other kids, their minds will be just as open and they will learn at the same rate as any other child, so let them play and explore while they can. There is however the other side of the coin where your child is sent to Kindergarden (some more rigid than others), they learn the entire first primer, write all their letters, sound and recognize all sorts of words and numbers and are whiz kids by the time they begin primary school.

Our options currently are:

1. Leave him at the PTLD and see if he will be ready to start school next year (at 4yrs old about to turn 5 soon after school starts)
2. Leave him at the PTLD and don’t start him in school until he’s 5 (about to turn 6)
3. Send him to rigid Kindergarden where he will get sent home with homework and be reading and writing like a pro in a years time
4. Send him to not so rigid Kindergarden where he has to wear a uniform, doesn’t get to watch Sesame Street everyday, does a little bit of everything but its really still school at the end of the day.

Every option has its pros and its cons. Option 1 puts us in the position where he may not be ready for school next year because believe it or not certain Primary schools have an ‘evaluation’ almost a year before (this December) before they decide if your child can register for the school.. With Option 2 he will be one of the older kids in the class which might not matter anymore but back in the day, the younger kids had a second ‘chance’ at common entrance. Option 3, he learns to read and write before primary school and is more advanced on entry. This option worries me a bit because I wonder if this is one where the parents do it for themselves. To have the opportunity to tell people that ‘JD can read and he’s only 2, ‘JD knows all his number to 50, he’s writing AND counting in Spanish’. Option 4 might just be pushing him before he’s ready, and if its anything I’ve learned about this child, he does nothing until he’s good and ready. He’s a smart little boy, tell him something once and he remembers it but when he doesn’t want to, he’s long gone onto something else more interesting. There are kids who thrive on learning their alphabet and reciting their numbers and learning how to add and subtract (I was like that), he is not one of those. He’s more of an auditory learner. He can tell you his bedtime stories or sing his nursery rhymes because I do that every night, or repeat a conversation someone had with him AND he loves to play, we taught him how to count in Spanish from going up and down the stairs with him, but only when he was ready :S

It sounds like I’ve made up my mind right? Not so much. Its so hard to have to think about these things for a 3 year old and above all, we as parents don’t want to do the ‘wrong’ thing :S We don’t want to not give him the opportunity to go to one of these schools because we thought it would be too much. Suppose it isn’t? Suppose it is? Dr. Bratt says send him to school at 7yrs old. Dr. Bratt also told me to stop working when I had a hard time pumping my milk in the bathroom at work when I first started back working. Dr. Bratt is a bit of a radical and while he was joking at the time he still believes that we are pushing kids way too hard from too young right now. He says ‘That’s what they do in Sweden where the education system is top notch! The kids play to learn til they’re 7! Yuh will burn out the child!’. Whats quite sad is that there are a ton of parents who are not worrying about these things, they just don’t care, they barely realize its time for Junior to head to school! I know we will eventually follow our gut and weigh our choices and be confident with our decision but geez man.

Ingrate

So this morning, we had an accident in our bed, our Mummy changed us, changed our sheets, gave us a hug then because we're so grateful for all her love and attention we proceeded to let her know that we didn't like her anymore. Just so, Dry so.

' Mummy I thought I don't like you any, I only like my Daddy'.

Times like this I does want to put the disclaimer from here on my blog. Because really...that is me eh, all this nice flowery fun stuff...not me 65% of the time. The people who know me, know this. Newho, this comment came on a not so great morning. So I didn't handle it too well. I am still quite bitter about it actually. This is as opposed to a few weeks ago when he told his daddy that he liked him better than Elliot (his friend from school) but he liked Elliot better than Mummy. This is to my face he said this, the little ingrate didn't wait til I left the room to say this. That time I almost laughed. But not so much. This time, 6 hours later I'm still bitter about it and didn't take it too well, I actually told him not to talk to me then since he doh like me so much. Poor child get confused one time, start speaking in full sentences all of a sudden. Please and thank you like he's supposed to , shoes on the correct feet, tried to help me put on my clothes, reminded me to put on my work id that I never wear. And I didn't feel bad for telling him that. I may remove that sentence later on when I calm down. Maybe I'm calming down already. Somebody reminded me this morning that he doesn't know what he was saying and I was about to respond that he knows what he likes and doesn't like. Then I remembered that he likes ketchup by Aunty Joy but he doesn't like ketchup with me. Matter of fact, he likes everything everywhere else but with me. Are we detecting a pattern here? This behavior also reminded me of his behavior with Grandma, who I am convinced he's in love with. I pulled up in front her house last week and I think he started to hyperventilate, he start to pelt himself all over my back seat with glee. I was in shock for about 2 minutes while he was carrying on. Then I took him out the car and he walked right by her, mumbled something that sounded like 'Aye woman' and kept on moving.

Steups, if this is love...

Just to prove that I do indeed still like my child, I jumped through some hoops to figure out how to post these audio links. These are his versions of some well known Nursery Rhymes:

Remix

Remix2

3yroldboy version 2.0

I am hereby submitting my proposal for a new version of 3YrOldBoy. He can look something like this:

And follow this pattern:

1. The soles of his feet will be made of swiffer wet jets and automatically replaced swiffer sheets, to avoid the excessive mopping that goes along with version 1.0, because frankly I hate mopping and swore to never do it and well that not really working out for me.

2. The fingernails shall not get dirty. Ever. To avoid the scrubbing that usually takes place with version 1.0

3. Version 2.0 will WANT to bathe and when they get in the shower and Mummy version1.0 says its time to get out v2 will agree to get out and stop being contrary.

4. Version 2.0 will eat. Everything, all the time and not be content with plain macaroni, plain rice, slices of bread, crix, bake, roti and Mauby.

5. When version 2.0 passes gas he will not announce 'SCOOSE ME!!!' to anyone who will listen. He will pass his gas, say excuse me quietly and move on with his life.

6. Version 2.0 will go to bed by 8pm and not wake up until the sun is awake in the sky because Mummy v1 would like to finally get some sleep after 3 years of being awakened every 2 hours thanks.

7. Version 2.0 will not follow mummy v1 into the shower and continue to ask questions like 'Can I watch you a little bit?' or 'Can I have some crix and cheese when you finish please?' or 'What you doin?' because showers are supposed to be relaxing dammit.

8. Version 2.0 will know when to remind his daddy to give him a hair cut so that his daddy doesn't forget and have him looking homeless once a month.

9. Version 2.0 will not want to use every bathroom in every mall/grocery/ cinema/ store in a 2 hour period on a hot Saturday morning.

10. Version 2.0 will not find the last piece of dirt on the earth, walk in it, then walk on his mummys newly vacuumed car seat.

*** Version 2.0 may also come with additional hugs and kisses because everyone loves more hugs and kisses ***

And just for giggles: